This is another post on TRAPT (Theological Reflections on Public Transit)*
I have become increasingly aware of what I’d like to call “umbrella etiquette,” or rather, a lack thereof. It seems to me that many do not realize that an umbrella, in the very design of the thing, can be both a shield and a weapon.
It has come to my attention, then, that we need a Christian-ly approach to umbrella etiquette – to put an end to the guessing of what is assuredly right or wrong about umbrella use. I’d like to propose the fruit of the Spirit (as found in Galatians 5:22-23) to be a good starting point to our umbrella usage.
The fruit of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Let’s look at the first 3.
Love: First rule, love your umbrella. Its job is a tough one and you can love it by not forcing it to be something it doesn’t want to be: a parachute or a demon-possessed kite, for example. It wants to be an umbrella. Encourage it, love it, and affirm it so it will remain one.
Joy: After you’ve learned to love your umbrella, your umbrella will love you back. It will create a dry, stress-free zone with a radius of about 2 feet. You can now walk with a confident, knowing smile. You’re beginning to master the Christian-ly approach to umbrella etiquette.
Peace: Umbrellas are not confrontational creatures. They enjoy times of peace and prefer to go the pacifist route. That being said, if an umbrella is treated well (that is, the umbrella owner employs aforementioned love and joy), your umbrella’s loyalty will not waver in times of turbulence. Rest assured, your umbrella’s allegiance will be unwavering in times of weather-faring peace or war.
* These posts are not to be taken seriously. Click here for the back-story.
kathryn says:
have you seen the “polite umbrella” that you can retract so as not to hit passersby?
i think that would show goodness.
Nov 12, 2009, 10:10 am